that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
