Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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