Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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