every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
