He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
