Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize