Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
