if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
