You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
