i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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