Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
