At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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