he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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