shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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