Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize