Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
