Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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