matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
