I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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