i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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