would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize