I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just high enough for therapy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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