If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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