walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
