i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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