she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you told grandpa to call you daddy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
