i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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