does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
