is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize