I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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