how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
