Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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