apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
