She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
