Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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