I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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