Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize