After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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