We need to rekindle our bromance
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize