I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
