so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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