she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
