no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
