You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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