this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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