Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize