my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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