yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
