this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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