That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
