billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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