Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love black thongs
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have post one night stand depression
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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