That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
