Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
