Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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