I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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