he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
