she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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