On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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