So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
