i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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