He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
