We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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