is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
