There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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