i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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