When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
