their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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