He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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