it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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