he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
