Got a toothbrush?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just google imaged poop.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
