the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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