Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
