If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And then he peed in my hair
There's even glitter on my cock...
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