I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
