Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
