i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
