I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
