Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I met the friendliest cop last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
