A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
